Updated: May 6, 2018
Enjoy this preview of Sandra's story! We met Sandra in Washington D.C., and their full story, along with correlating systematic research and insights, will be in our next book.
"My family came here back in the seventies, so I carry an intense amount of very Korean traits, and a lot of American traits, and a lot of traits that have nothing to do with either culture—and both cultures don’t like those traits.
When I’m with my Korean family, I have an understanding of how to move with them. I know what I need to do in order for them to feel like I care about them. I ask about food—I ask if they’ve eaten, I offer them food—it’s very food based. So with my partner, who’s not Korean, he’s had to really grasp the fact hat I’m so food centric, and he’s just not.
If you tell me I can’t feed you, it’s like you’re telling me I can’t hug you. As recent as my grandparents’ and parents’ generations, there were a lot of hunger and poverty issues in my family. This is why we don’t usually ask how you are, we ask how you’ve eaten, because they kind of have the same meaning for us.
How can we have more shared understandings of how to provide care for each other, when we come from a place where we don’t even have a shared culture?”